Friday, April 7, 2023

Genetics

Spiraling ladders of fate

spinning in every cell

distant cousins to the Fates

dizzying threads to weave and cut.

Wednesday, April 5, 2023

Timeline

Years of lists and goals and plans

plotted more carefully than executed,

reams of paper filled and filed

terabytes of digital words,

photos and artwork and decor and collections,

gathered and saved, with laughter and poetry and books

as armor holding back the future,

when decades shrink to years, and every hour ticks loudly.

Tuesday, April 4, 2023

Practicing What I Preach

Not so funny when the ankle turns

and wrenches everything above

while bags and boxes fly about

landing on your head

As you hit the ground.

Knees and elbows are first to complain

screeching from scrapes and indignity

Not so funny indeed.

Until the children you bore

and sheltered from harm

are paralyzed with laughter

as they try to help you get up

tears are running down their faces.

And years later they still enact

the choreography of the moment

each move a gymnastic trick,

because after all, I was basically ok,

mostly injured by embarrassment

and now proud to be the favorite example

of reframing for humor.

Monday, April 3, 2023

Blippity Doo-Dah

The blips are there

I have no doubt.

But wonder what

blips are about.

Am I too stressed

too full a plate?

Moving too fast

with too much weight?

Does anxiety

hold me in sway?

Those scary things

are years away!

Or are the thoughts

sounding alarm

trying to keep

My brain from harm?

Or crying out

Alas! Too late!

The blips herald

my aging fate.

Sunday, April 2, 2023

NAPOWRIMO 2023 April 2, 2023

Change of Seasons

Twice a year a solstice

twice a year an equinox,

heralding seasons

based on orbital positions

creating specific length of daylight.

Meteorological seasonal arrivals

rely on historical temperature ranges

And possibly school vacations.

While the astrological change of seasons

depends on ancient zodiac calculations,

telling me as I pass through the sign of my birth,

despite being centered unarguably in Spring,

that I am seasonally summer.

More proof of the cruelty of April.

Saturday, April 1, 2023

NAPOWRIMO 2023 - April 1, 2023 For Bill

For Bill, Wherever You May Be

We met once, but, you’ll forgive me

I have no recollection,

no matter how I try to see your face

all I have are photographs, service records,

And lingering questions.

Now almost triple the years you lived

on a quest too long in getting started

I trace paths nearing obliteration.

Your influence strong in its absence,

empty spaces have their own weight.

Trauma passes on to new generations,

genetic strands woven into those who never knew you

but carry you with them just the same.

NAPOWRIMO 2023 - The Cruellest Month Returns

Here we are, once again, the first of April. National Poetry Month, National Humor Month, Autism Awareness Month, Child Abuse Awareness Month, Jazz Appreciation Month — and that is just a fraction of April's responsibilities. It is also known as the "cruellest month" thanks to T.S. Elliot's poem, "The Wasteland."

For me, April is a bit more personal, the month I was born, an observation that is forever entwined with the sudden sickness and death of my father, 3 weeks after my birth. He got to hold me once, tears streaming down his face. His cause of death was listed as "uremia" - the family recalls being told it was from nephritis. So many years later, I collected his Marine Corps. service records, have a medal sent to me, and find something disturbing on his death certificate.

There is a second line for "cause of death." The second line says "pending chemical." No test results are attached. Suddenly, all the TV commercials about a water problem at Camp Lejuene become personal. I've been on a quest to get those Veteran's Hospital records, if they still exist. This is too much of a coincidence. Can the mystery of why a healthy 23-year old, new father, died suddenly from nephritis/uremia/renal failure?

This year, I dedicate my participation in NAPOWRIMO to the father I only met once, and I strengthen my resolve to find out what happened so many years ago.

Noreen Braman

William Johnston Braman

Living on the Smile Side of Life