One week ago, I had oral surgery behind my bottom lip. Six stitches and some hardened packing material later, I went home with serious
limitations on my ability to eat, talk and smile. Laughing was painfully out of
the question, even a slight giggle caused me to grab my chin to try and stop
the shooting pain.
I have since realized that being unable to smile or laugh
without pain is a big deal for me. In fact, despite my qualifications as a
Laughter Wellness Instructor and Laughter Yoga Leader, I was not really aware
of how often I smile or laugh. Even before my laughter training, it was an
embedded part of my personality; something that is born out by a lifetime of
grinning photos (and believe me, at many times my life was nothing to smile
about). My nephew once remarked, “I like Aunt Nor, she is always smiling.” It
seems that I instinctively knew something that I now share in many of my
presentations. Studies have shown that smiling, even when you don’t feel like
it, fools the brain into thinking that there is something to be happy about.
Feel-good endorphins are then released. This scientific fact is part of the
whole reason for laughter wellness and laughter yoga. The whole reason why I prefer to live on the
Smile Side of Life.
But, having smiling and laughter as an intrinsic part of my
personality makes me take it for granted. It is possible that I have expected
it to be a part of everyone’s makeup — buried perhaps — but in there somewhere.
This week, while smiling and laughing continues to be a painful thing for me, I
have realized that for some people it may be painful all the time. Maybe not
causing shooting pain across their faces, but causing inner pain, turmoil or
confusion. Suddenly, I understand more clearly why some people at my
presentations don’t “get it.”
I don’t expect that everyone at a laughter
wellness presentation will enjoy it or understand what it is all about. Like any group activity, sport or exercise
class, it is not for everyone. What has puzzled me, until now, is how strongly
emotional the negative reactions sometimes are. In the same group I have gotten
reviews of “we need more laughter in our lives!” to “the laughter [session] was
a total waste of time, TOTALLY TOTALLY a WASTE of time!!!” From “Love the
laughter training!” to “We are not children! I did not sign up for group
therapy!”
The first lesson I learned from this is that there are more
negative reactions in groups of people who are attending the session because it
was mandatory, or it was just part of another educational presentation for
their particular profession. In sessions where Laughter Wellness is the only
topic, and a description of what will happen in the session is presented
beforehand, this doesn’t seem to happen. And that is because the people for
whom laughter is a painful experience will not come to a laughter wellness
session. They are not going to laugh or smile in a group no matter how good it
is for them.
The second lesson is, if there are people in the group for
whom smiling and laughing is painful, they will let you know, in a strong and
clear way, that this was not for them. And because it was not for them it is a
ridiculous, stupid or frivolous idea. Sadly, these are people who would
probably benefit the most from laughter.
And the last lesson for me is the realization that, once, a
very long time ago, I also found laughter painful. Somewhere between
adolescence and adulthood I lost much of my ability to laugh or see humor.
Laughter had become a weapon in my house; used to belittle and punish. Bullies
at school knew the power of laughter to intimidate and hurt. I remember being
at a Mel Brooks movie once, wonder what the heck everyone around me was
laughing at.
Maybe it was that intrinsic part of my personality that
brought the laughter back. Maybe it was just part of growing up. Maybe it was reading about smiling to fool your brain long before anyone ever heard
of laughter wellness. Whatever it was, laughter has been with me and I have
been sharing it as much as I can for many, many years. However, the experience
of this past week, and the continued pain I get when laughing or smiling, has
been a good thing. It has reminded me of what it feels like to be physically or
emotionally unable to laugh; helped me understand why some react so negatively
to a laughter wellness presentation; and it has motivated me to find some
information, exercises or alternate pathways to help those I meet who cannot
laugh.
Meanwhile, hold the jokes and memes, I am almost healed. It only hurts when I laugh.
